Music is dead (for me)

Photo by Ylanite Koppens from Pexels

I grew up listening to a lot of music.

Bands were the ultimate-stars of our generation so I too followed a lot of them. I hummed their tunes, lap/table drummed to their rhythms, tried to understand their lyrics. But more importantly, I tried to model myself around them. Hairstyle, Walkstyle, dress-style, talk-style pose-style, smoke-style. Style Style Style.

I wrote their names in the school-desks, notebooks and even in my hands. I talked and gathered information about them. Oh, they were the ultimate!

And then I grew up!

Don’t mistake me for a trendy rat who stopped listening to his favorite bands just because they were not cool any more.

I grew out of music altogether.

I eventually had a funny journey with music after I decided to dive deeper into it. Listening to bands made me explore more bands. Exploring more bands made me explore more music. I eventually discovered classical and experimental music. I took a Hindustani Classical Music training class and got obsessed with theories of music. Once I started to look into the theoretical side, I ceased listening to first bands and then music altogether.

I just didn’t want to listen anymore. It bored me. Disinterested me!

I don’t know why it had to happen.

People who are real experts and masters in theoretical music, don’t dislike music. If anything, they begin listening and playing more music.

That makes it clear that I didn’t begin disliking music because I knew something about it. Far from it. I had just begun understanding its mechanisms.

But I just didn’t enjoy it anymore. I still don’t. I try. I enjoy natural soundscapes but not man-made-music.

When I watch videos which have human composed soundtracks to it, I get annoyed. The same applies when I am out somewhere and there is some music playing in the background.

I just don’t like music anymore. It’s dead for me!

Why?!

I grew up with it. I enjoyed it so much : once upon a time!

I have an hypothesis.

Music, songs and such audial human creations are emotional foundations and inspirations of any idea, ideology, identity, understanding and belief.

When I adhered to hypocrite-pop-punk ethos, I enjoyed their songs. Not because I enjoyed the music in itself, but because those songs triggered my idea of the world and of the wanna-be-rebellious-self.

Similarly, classical music — Hindustani is a direct dedication to Hindu metaphysics. When I applied myself to that belief-system, classical music acted as a reminder, an inspirer of that thinking.

The same applies for all types of music.

They all have ideas for their source.

The change that occured to me during the course of it all was that my worldview kept changing dramatically.

What started out as pretentious-rebellious-materialism transitioned to Vedic Spiritualism to Pessimism until eventually transitioning to whatever I have going inside my head today. The only thing I know is that it needs no sound and music.

This is why Music is dead for me today.

Can’t say what is to come tomorrow!!!!!

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Adesh Acharya

I write. I create. Mind-Exploration. Self Explorer. Think, See and Experience Mind-Life-World with me. Subscribe to me via email. More at https://fradesh.com |