How do you think of god?
How do you think of god when you have your emptying refrigerator staring at you?
This morning, I walked back and forth in the living room with a mug of coffee. Not my first time taking this kind of contemplative walk but I was doing it after a long break. The last time I remember I was living with my parents during COVID and was contemplating the existence of god and soul.
I don’t have time for god and soul anymore. This morning I dwelled on my paycheck, the rent and insurance due date, my savings account and how on earth I would ever find a job that could take me to Rio de Janeiro and Paris.
That guy there from four years ago contemplating the meaning of existence from his parents’ place would shrug me off as a materialistic fool and I from 2024 shrug that idiot off for being an overprivileged brat. But the irony remains that I am the same fucking guy. All because of that one big change of having to earn money since moving to Canada with my wife. Back in Nepal, I could even afford to seek metaphysical justifications for making money. Since COVID I went by without making any and still ate three meals a day, three beers a week and smoked countless cigarettes.
Here it’s a necessity. If I don’t make money, I won’t have food and drink and vape juice. Worst of all, I won’t be…
