Four State-of-the-sky Analogy for four of my State-of-mind
A way for me to see what’s going on there.
Tracing, tracking, understanding, analyzing the mind is a tricky process. Where do you even start?
Do you start with philosophy of mind? Or do you start with psychology? Neuroscience? Spirituality? How do you look? Where do you start?
Well, I decided to start with none of the above. I decided to start with basic introspection of mental phenomena in me that are both affecting and useful. I have decided to start with State-of-mind. This includes feelings and their corresponding thoughts/ideas existing in me at any given instance of mind consciousness. I have then decided to use analogies: metaphors, etc. to bring them to some form of real illustration.
I decided to take this approach because far too many times my inquisitiveness and attempt at self-healing through mental knowledge have been squashed by abstract concepts and observations made by people and institutions I know nothing of — and they have almost always taken me far far away from the reason I have gone to them. That’s why I wanted to erase all of them for now and take an approach that is personal to me, subjective to me, affecting me and useful to me.
With this said, I wanna establish how I define mind:
Mind is the subjective experience of the brain. It fundamentally includes consciousness of existence, sense-perception, conscience, reasoning, consciousness of difference, consciousness of self, desires, feelings/emotions, memory interpretation, imagination, ideas.
Anything more than this would mean getting trapped in unnecessary concepts and theories.
The question I ask myself frequently is this:
Why do I care about the mind? Why do I want to know about it?
And the answer I give myself frequently is this:
Because I want to understand the feelings and thoughts dwelling inside me. The things that drive me, that have shaped me, and have given pain, joy, ideas, solutions to me.
This led me to tracing my mind through its states. Or, State-of-mind. Which includes:
feelings and their corresponding thoughts/ideas existing in me at any given instance. A general version of my mood.
I have discovered countless states. None of which are ever the same. They are elusive. Difficult to comprehend. So, the only thing I thought I could do to get any grasp of them is by categorizing them within four general boundaries. Four State-of-mind.
But I struggled to give them names. So I decided to use an analogy that came most natural to me. Especially when I wrote haikus and other forms of poetry. It was initially weather, but it later modified into sky. State-of-sky.
I was glad to find that there was a pre-established definition of it:
The aspect of the sky in reference to the cloud cover; the state of the sky is fully described when the amounts, kinds, directions of movement, and heights of all clouds are given — https://encyclopedia2.thefreedictionary.com/state+of+the+sky
Out of all states of sky, I chose four:
- Cloudless: Blue sky without clouds. Sun bright.
- Clear Black
Here, sky clouds are to play the part of things that cloud my mind. They include excitements, frustrations, anxiety, depression, confusion, etc. The color blue signifies clean feelings. Cloudless being while I am the most clean and clear. Presence of sun implies there being a presence of the best idea of myself. Presence of moon doesn’t imply anything significant.
Now, into the four mental states of the sky states:
- Cloudless: Clarity on my self-idea, visions, goals, plans. Sharp perception. No-excitement. No anxiety. Clear Vision of self and the world. Sense of maturity.
- Cumulus: A lot of excitement and a little bit of anxiety. Extroverted mood. Murky perception. Confusion but strong will. Seeks external entertainment. I get creative. Work mode.
- Altostratus: Heavy anxiety. Confused. Poor reasoning. Poor perception. Crumbling and fragile self-idea. Unclear vision. Fear.
- Clear Black: Paranoid. Sharp Perception. Heavy Anxiety. Nervousness. Skeptic towards my self-idea, visions, goals, plans. No excitement. Suicidal.
Once again, there are countless so-called states inside me, none of which are ever the same. There are combinations of some/all of the above or none. At times there is sun in a dark night! Mind is elusive and difficult to comprehend. This general framework has at least given me some grasp of it. Something to visualize and relate to. Hopefully for you too!
