Being Ignored? We have all been there!

Perhaps there is nothing that generates the feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, nervousness, restlessness and anxiety better than the perception of being ignored by other people.

Such poor phases of life! It makes you feel so damn miserable, doesn’t it?

Here I call it perception because being ignored is more often a perception than a fact.

The other person might be busy, ill, fucked-up, knocked-up, paranoid for him/her to ignore you. But our sweet little ego isn’t among the rationals!

It will tell you these the moment(s) someone doesn’t — pick up your call, pay attention to you, ignore your call, show up late, not show up at all, not show up at all and not apologize at all, not show up at all, not apologize at all and not even pick up another call, talk about something else while you are talking about something:

• Oh my god!
• What is wrong with me?
• Everything is wrong with me.
• Why does everyone do this to me?
• Whis does this happen to me all the time?
• Why am I so worthless?
• May be I don’t deserve he/she
• I am so worthless
• I am doomed
• I am a loser

In our best of moods though it will tell us the following:

• What a bastard!
• What a petty person!
• How could he/she!
• It’s his/her loss!
• Arrogant!
• Asshole!
• Loser

We have all been ignored and have ignored at some point in our lives.

BUT WHY?

and

Whose fault is it? OF the ignorer or the ignored?

BUT WHY?

I see two types of ignorance:

1. Intentional Ignorance
2. Unintentional Ignorance

Intentional Ignorance is the type of ignorance where the ignorer has actively, imaginatively and intentionally ignored the other person(s):

a. because the ignorer is hopeless to do anything else (Innocent Intentional Ignorer) OR

b. to make that person(s) feel:

worthless, hopeless, nervous, restless and anxious. (Pure Intentional Ignorer)

This type of ignorance (b) is conducted so that the feelings it generates at the other end will give the ignorer a psychological advantage.

Imagine you queuing up for bus tickets and you are in extreme hurry. You have to now request a person who is up next to do you a favor. What kind of person do you want it to be:

strong, hopeful, confident, bold and courageous OR

worthless, hopeless, nervous, restless and anxious?

When we sense people or animals in a state more feeble than ours, we tend to get more confident. This is why making the other person feel low is very important to have an advantage over. This must be one of the oldest tactics in socio-politics. We all practice this. The people who practice this can be called Pure Intentional Ignorers

If ignoring the other person gives you an advantage then why not?

Coming to a,

there might be situations where an ignorer ignores the ignored because the ignorer is morally or physically bound to not-ignore the ignored. Such ignorers can be called Innocent Intentional Ignorers.

There are three friends A, B and C.

One morning C calls A to come to an immediate video meet. But B who is alongside A feels envious because C didn’t ask B. So B tells A to not show-up else B will leave immediately and never see A’s face again. B doesn’t show up.

In this situation C is the ignored. A is the Innocent Intentional Ignorer.

This type of ignorance is also found in situations where the ignorer abolutely doesn’t give a fuck about the ignored.

You see a celebrity in the mall and you immediately blindly rush towards her. But at the same time 100 more people rush just as you. You stretch out your phone for a selfie but the celebrity doesn’t even notice you. The celebrity is obviously innocent but she has intentionally ignored you because you are just another brick in the wall. You are insignificant and worthless!

But in this type of ignorance the fault is purely the ignored’s. Why would you wanna crowd any other person when you yourself can be better than that person?

Even if you are a fan, isn’t it better for that person if you left her alone? Isn’t that what you would want? Isn’t that what a true fan does?

Unintentional Ignorance on the other hand is whenever the ignorer ignores the ignored without meaning to ignore the ignored.

Imagine three friends: D, E and F.

F has asked D to meet her at 5 PM. E doesn’t know it. At 4PM, D receives a call from E saying that he has been in a serious accident. D rushes to the location and finds E in a very bloody situation. D takes E to the nearest hospital. The people at the hospital ask D to take care of the formalities and D rushes to bring medicines, call E’s parents and all that.

At 5:15 PM as D is watching E being treated, she gets a call from F. F is fuming.

In this situation, D has clearly unintentionally ignored.

Whose fault?

Faulty:

having a fault or faults; defective, blemished, imperfect, or erroneous.

Erroneous:

Beliefs, opinions, or methods that are erroneous are incorrect or only partly correct.

Correct:

If something is correct, it is in accordance with the facts and has no mistakes.

We saw different cases. In each case the faulty is different.

1. Intentional Ignorance:

Innocent Intentional Ignorer: Neither

Pure Intentional Ignorer: Ignorer

(but in cases where the present ignored has once been a ignorer and the present ignorer is merely ignoring to teach a lesson then the present ignored is the faulty. In cases where it has been done as vengeance — both)

2. Unintentional Ignorance: Neither

Ignorance is hard to digest. There is no doubt in this fact. No human being or creature should deserve worthlessness, hopelessness, nervousness, restlessness and anxiety.

But at times, as with most cases with us humans,

that’s just how things are &

that’s just the nature of the beast.

All we can do is ensure:

1. We do not ignore anyone or make any other person feel that way.
2. Be brutally strong in situations where we have been ignored.

But more importantly,

Next time you are ignored, try to figure out why and act wisely! Kick that ego of yours and try to see the reality.

& I quote myself:

Wisdom is always the best medicine!